My long-term financial strategy has always been to win a game show or sweepstakes.

Not the wisest plan in the world, but a plan nonetheless.

NOW… it looks like my dream—or a close approximation—might possibly be coming true. In other words:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHH!!! NO WAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!! WOO-HOOOOOOOOO! (This is me running around my living room, frightening my children.)

Why this sudden burst of Tom Cruise couch-jumping fervor? I HAVE BEEN SELECTED AS ONE OF TEN FINALISTS in a contest with a chance to win our mortgage paid for an entire year!!! (Please forgive all the exclamation points—I tend to overpunctuate when I am excited.) Earlier in the summer, at my dad’s suggestion, I entered a video in home builder Taylor Morrison’s “Homemade Memories” contest. Lo and behold—we got picked!

The winner will be determined by vote, which leads me to my shameless plea:

(Cue violins)

Please, PLEASE, PLEASE visit the contest website by clicking this link and voting for our video entitled “Memories Made from Scratch” (the second from the left). Voting runs from Aug. 16-31 and each person gets one vote. Your pet cannot vote (sorry Leo) but your spouse can. And your uncle can. And your best friend can. And your second-cousin-thrice-removed can. So if you feel compelled to send this link to everyone you’ve ever met, or Facebook it, or skywrite it, we would surely appreciate it. EVERY VOTE COUNTS! THANKS, FRIENDS!

**CONTEST UPDATE! Everyone who votes will be entered into a drawing to win an identical prize: your mortgage or rent paid for one year! If you received an e-mail indicating that you need to visit a sales center, that was sent in error (I learned this directly from Taylor Morrison). They are actually picking a THIRD winner from among their sales center visitors! So you have two ways to win!

Writing from Scratch

I am a lover of words who is trapped in Number Country.

It’s a dry and weary land where there is no poetry.

See if you recognize any of these landmarks: Form W-2, Form 1099, Form 941, Form UCT-6. That’s where I’ve been living this month, preparing tax forms for five different organizations. I’m not complaining, since it is the butter on our daily bread, but I will be glad to step back into familiar territory come February 1—the day I put the last of these babies in the mail and hitch my way home to Blogland.

These babies, however, I’m keeping with me:

See you soon.

Love,

Lauren

Here is Part Deux of my Weight Watchers post, in case you’re interested. I am typing it as I polish off a dish of Breyer’s chocolate brownie ice cream. So you don’t need me to remind you that I am not a diet expert. More of a “how can I eat chocolate and get away with it” expert. Just so we’re clear.

The slogan on the box of Fiber One cereal sitting on the kitchen table reads: “Cardboard no. Delicious yes.”

I would modify that to: “Cardboard no. Delicious not quite. Edible yes.”

I mean, come on. “Delicious” is a term I reserve for Pam’s homemade spaghetti sauce. Chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven. Strawberries in season. My mom’s mashed potatoes. We don’t need to stretch the definition so that General Mills can move some boxes of cereal. That said, though, Fiber One cereal is a passable, low-point breakfast that fills me up and gets me going.

So I can leave room for the really delicious things.

This list is not exhaustive—because that would be a very long blog post that reads about as well as cardboard tastes—but I promised I would mention some tips and suggestions for filling foods that will help you make the most of your Weight Watcher points. Here goes.

1. Fiber is your friend. WW points are determined three things: calories per serving, grams of fat, and grams of fiber. The higher the fiber, the lower the point value. Foods rich in fiber make you feel more satisfied and have many health benefits. So if you are grocery shopping and see a high fiber option for a food you’d normally buy, choose that. Some of our faves:

-Fiber One Oats & Chocolate Bars (2 pts)
-Fiber One Honey Clusters Cereal w/ Skim Milk (4 pts)
-WW English Muffin (1 pt)
-Arnold Double Fiber Bread (1 pt/slice)
-Arnold Multigrain Sandwich Thins (1 pt)
-Mission Carb Balance Tortillas, Soft Taco Size (2 pts)
-Fresh veggies, fresh fruit
-Fat free refried beans
-Stir Fry veggies over brown rice
-Zucchini, mushrooms, and cherry tomatoes sauteed in olive oil spray and pepper (1 pt)

**WARNING: Be sure to increase your fiber intake gradually, or you will be, shall we say, rather uncomfortable. You might make the people around you uncomfortable too. What’s that poem about beans being a musical fruit? You get the picture.

2. Don’t just replace junk food with its low-calorie substitute. When I started WW, this was how I ate. I didn’t want to give up the foods I loved, so I ate a lot of “fake food” alternatives that were lower in fat or sugar. This can certainly work, but I felt more satisfied once I started incorporating more fruits and veggies into my diet. Choosing an apple over a bag of Sun Chips. Eating a bowl of carrots instead of sugar-free, taste-free cookies. Having a salad for lunch rather than a sandwich with mystery fat-free cheese product. I had to find a balance between low-fat processed foods and things like fresh fruits, veggies, and nuts. Once I got the proportions right, I felt much less hungry as I went about my day.

Some meal suggestions:

Breakfast: Cereal, egg(s), low-fat yogurt w/ fresh fruit, smoothie, oatmeal

Lunch: Salad, chef salad, bean burrito, WW frozen entree, sandwich on low-point bread, yogurt, fruit

Dinner: Grilled veggies in a wrap (can add chicken), taco salad, grilled chicken breast w/ steamed veggies and brown rice, sweet potato, WW recipes from the internet or cookbooks, lighter versions of your own favorites

3. Find your “survival snack.” Make sure you have food in the house that is low-point that you can munch on. If you are like me, sometimes you just need to chew, particularly if you are watching TV. Here are some suggestions:

-Orville Redenbacher 100-calorie popcorn snack bag (2 pts) (*Popcorn, particularly the 94% fat free kind, is a lifesaver for me. You can eat a whole bag for minimal points.)
-Jello 10-calorie snacks (0 pts) – in refrigerated section
-Jello 60-calorie pudding snacks (1 pt) – also in refrigerated section
-Apple (1 pt)
-Banana (2 pts)
-Cup of baby carrots (1 pt)
-Cup of grapes (1 pt)
-Special K red berries cereal w/ skim milk (3 pts)
-Black coffee (0 pts) – *Hot drinks are great because you can sip them slowly.
-Sugar-free gum
-Weight Watchers snack cakes (1 pt) – These are expensive but oh, how I needed them when I started out. I had to find a way to satisfy my craving for baked goods, and some days I would eat two or three. After a little while, I found I didn’t need them anymore.
-Snack bags: If you are always on the go, pre-measure some of your favorite snacks and put them in baggies that you can easily grab. Have a stash of one or two-point bagged snacks in your fridge or cabinet, and label them as to how many points they are. It’s easier to eat from a snack bag than it is to open the big bag and be tempted to cheat. If you can handle it, buy some leftover Halloween candy that is already in snack-size portions for when you need a treat. But if this triggers your sugar craving, steer clear! Keep things like candy in a hard-to-reach place.

4. Have a plan when you go out to eat. Pete and I would (and still do) look up the point values for foods at our favorite restaurants before we darkened the door. These websites are terrific resources:

http://www.dwlz.com/restaurants.html (scroll down to list of restaurants)
http://www.dietfacts.com/fastfood.asp

FYI:
-McDonalds’ vanilla ice cream cones are only 3 pts. each.
-Sushi is SO delicious and so low in points. This is a favorite date for Pete and me.

5. Splurge sometimes. You have to, or you’ll go crazy. When I say “splurge,” I mean stay within your points, but spend them on something REALLY tasty. You have weekly “flex points” for a reason. Two of my great loves are Five Guys Burgers and Bruster’s Ice Cream. If I know I am going to Five Guys with Pete, I eat a light breakfast (1 pt English muffin and some fresh fruit), a light lunch (salad w/ deli turkey and a little cheese), then a “Little Burger” (which means one patty vs. two. I think they call them “little” so you feel like a sissy for not ordering the double.)

6. Find the exercise in your everyday routine. With two little kids, I don’t have much time for myself. Certainly not enough time for a gym workout. But even without a rigorous exercise routine, I lose weight on WW. So I’ve stopped beating myself up for not taking hour-long walks after dinner. What I have done is to start recognizing the natural exercise that is part of my everyday routine. Vacuuming. Scrubbing the floor. Bending to put away all those toys. Lifting Jude and Noah. Chasing Noah (I do a lot of that). Rather than resent those tasks, I try to look at them as killing two birds with one stone: getting something done while burning some calories. When the boys are in bed, I’ll often put on my iPod and spend 30 to 40 minutes cleaning. It’s no Jane Fonda, but it’ll do.

7. Show yourself some grace. This is SO important. If you fall off the wagon, make it worthwhile and eat a few more M&Ms, then climb back on. Sometimes I mess up and eat a few extra points. Sometimes I conveniently “forget” to record some of my points. Don’t make it a habit, but don’t rake yourself over the coals. Live your life.

Here’s an excerpt from an Anne Lamott essay, “Hunger,” that I just read last week:

Over the years, my body has not gotten firmer. Just the opposite in fact. But… I try to remember that gravity speaks; also, that no one needs that plastic-body perfection from women of age and substance. Also, that I do not live in my thighs or in my droopy butt. I live in joy and motion and cover-ups. I live in the nourishment of food and the sun and the warmth of the people who love me.

Enough said.

*Questions? Leave me a comment!

Let me preface this post by saying two things: (1) I do not claim to be any kind of weight loss expert and (2) I am only posting this because many of you have asked to hear more about my Weight Watchers experience. If I had my way, we would all eat cookies all day. Some days I do.

It all started with a horizontal-striped shirt and a photograph, snapped on my front lawn as I said goodbye to an old friend. Staring at the photo on my computer screen, I realized there was a definite bulge in my midsection. But I wasn’t pregnant. Noah was one and a half.

In typical Lauren fashion, I reacted with drama. I gaped, I grimaced, I pinched and squeezed—all to no avail. I knew that my pre-childbirth body would never return, but until that moment, the reality had not sunk in. This was a woman who, at almost 30 years of age, still shopped for clothes in the Juniors department. Or should I say, window-shopped. I had not squeezed into a pair of those teeny, tiny shorts in… well… ever. (But the blouses are so cute.)

Having watched a good friend go through the Weight Watchers program and observed her gradual transformation, I decided it was time for me to join. Even though I knew (or thought I knew) how to eat right, I needed a plan. I needed accountability. And I needed it to cost me something, because if it costs me something, I am more likely to follow through to get my money’s worth.

With Weight Watchers (henceforth, “WW”), there are two routes you can take: (1) you can go to meetings and be guided and encouraged by a WW leader, or (2) you can follow the program online. I chose the online option. For one thing, I had a friend to hold me accountable. And soon I had Pete. After watching me lose five pounds in the first two weeks (after that, you are only supposed to lose up to 2 lbs. per week for health reasons), he asked, “Now, how does this work?”

I explained. He joined. Then he proceeded to lose 40 pounds.

Meanwhile, I lost 19. And grew out a bad haircut.

Think of it like a budget. When you want to get your finances in shape, you have to really examine where every dollar is going. You have to learn to pay attention or you’ll overspend and never meet your financial goals. With WW, every food has a point value. You have a certain “budget” of points per day, based on various factors. If you don’t overspend your points, you will most likely lose weight. If you exercise, you’ll earn additional points to spend that week. If you are dying for a pack of M&Ms, you can spend the points, but you compensate by having a low-point salad for dinner, or by going for a walk. There’s no food you can’t eat when you are on WW, but you gradually learn to choose the foods that give you the most bang for your buck. An apple and a Fiber One granola bar (3 points total) fill you up much more than a bag of M&Ms (5 points). But it’s your choice. You don’t have to give up bread or cheese or—Heaven forbid!—chocolate (my Vitamin C).

So that’s the “why” and “how” of Weight Watchers, for me (since you asked). I’ll put up one more post, separately, with tips on filling foods and tricks that Pete and I learned as we went through the process. Since a friend passed this info on to me, I am simply passing it on to you. It’s not for everybody, but it does work. Since I rejoined five weeks ago, I have lost 7.5 pounds.

And I refuse to give up M&Ms. 

Apparently I need to rethink my long-term financial strategy.

Here it is. Either:

(1) Win a game show

OR…

(2) Win the McDonald’s Monopoly game.

Neither seems to be working out.

This weekend I was entering the codes from my Monopoly game pieces online and I landed on Community Chest. YES! I thought. Here’s my big win! $10,000! $50,000! $100,000 jackpot!

Indeed. Here was my big win:

25 Coke Rewards points.

Either that is one awesome bottle of Coke, or I got gypped.

Better luck next year. In the meantime, I will practice my Deal or No Deal audition.

“No deal, Howie! No deal!!!”

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the finalists in the Miss Congealed USA competition, sponsored by your local hospital.

Our third runner up: Miss Pineapple Chutney. Miss Chutney enjoys hanging out with limp vegetables and rubbery chicken. In her words, “We get along like peas and carrots.”

Our second runner-up: Miss Scoop O’ Stuffing. Miss O’Stuffing maintains her shapely figure by clinging to lukewarm meat. She enjoys a good garnish, saying “There’s nothing like an orange wedge to compliment my pallid complexion.”

Our first runner-up: Miss Jello Square. Miss Square is well-known in the dining circuit, accompanying most every entrée which exits the cafeteria doors. Her personal motto is: “Always leave a little wiggle room.”

And lastly, our WINNER of the 2009 Miss Congealed USA Competition: Miss Orange Mystery!

Frankly, we have no idea what Miss Mystery is or where she came from.

But she certainly makes an impression.

(Umm… I said Catch-Up, not Ketchup. Never mind.)

Oh, Reluctant Blogger—you are living up to your name these days. Although, to be fair, I am reluctant about many things lately: getting dressed, cooking, any kind of movement… I am in full pregnant mode with the weeble-wobble walk, the pervasive nesting instinct, and an extreme attachment to my gaucho and yoga pants, both of which resemble pajama bottoms. Actually, they double as pajama bottoms. Actually, I don’t think I’m getting out of my pajamas for the next eight weeks. That will eliminate the need for pesky personal hygiene.

I jest, but you get the idea.

I have actually had a very full couple of weeks—full, but not hectic. Summer-preggo mode prevents me from even setting a toenail near the hectic pace of this past winter and spring. I wish I could be this mellow all the time. Maybe it’s the yoga pants.

Anyway, in case you are curious, or in case you are my mom, or both, here is the bulletpoint version of my recent adventures:

1. Jenni’s Visit. My sister Jenni visited us for a week and brought with her my ADORABLE new niece, Vivi, and my ever-adorable nephew, Jack. This will give you an idea of the adorability factor:

I rest my case. Actually, here is one more:

Because Jenni is adorable too.

We swam, we splashed, we hit the beach. We napped, we vegged, we ate. We taught the boys about 1,036 lessons on sharing (two three-year-old firstborns are a volatile combo). We had a blast.

2. Noah has hit puberty. Okay, slight exaggeration here. But he has grown a mustache:

No wait, that’s pudding. My mistake. (Doesn’t he look like a young Don Juan?)

What I am not exaggerating is the fact that my baby has become a big boy in the span of about a week: moving to a big boy bed, moving to a big boy booster seat in the car, and becoming potty trained. (That will be its own post, since potty training is such a hilarious adventure.) He also insists on getting dressed by himself, and apparently he shares my affection for round-the-clock pajamas. If I weren’t having a baby in 55 days, I would be mourning this transition, but Noah’s independence will only help me in the future when I have an infant glued to my person.

3. Beki and her family are moving. There. I said it. My beloved neighbors are moving. I have lived comfortably in denial for the past month, but it is time to face facts. Granted, they are only moving five minutes away (for now), but I am deeply mourning the loss of my across-the-street friend. So just to let you all know, I will be in the depths of despair on or around June 19th. Possibly sooner. (In case you all want to sign up to bring me meals and chocolate and Kleenex and foot massages. I just threw in the foot massages for good measure.)

Beki and Vivi

4. I am huge. Noah weighed 9 lbs., 9 oz. when he was born, and my doctor is predicting another whopper. Here is my birth plan: Get to hospital. Get drugs. Get more drugs as needed. Have baby in one push. Nurse baby. Eat steak. Do you think I should write that down for the nurses?

Belly at the Beach

And that, dear friends, is my life in a nutshell. I would write more, but let’s be honest — most of you skimmed through this post for the pictures (and I don’t blame you). So I will leave you with a good one, and I promise to be back soon. You don’t want to miss Adventures in Pottyland or pictures of Noah’s big boy room.

Love to all, L.

I’m coming back. (And it’s about time!)

Tropical Storm Fay is bearing down on Florida, and we have stocked up on all the essentials.

Flashlight:

Batteries:

Water:

And chocolate chips, which I promptly baked into cookies:

(No sense weathering a storm without a fortifying dose of saturated fat.)

Schools are closed, offices are closed, and I am still in my pajamas (though that is not entirely unusual at this hour). No sign of Fay yet, but judging from the satellite pictures, she’ll make quite the entrance later today.

Say a prayer for us!